Auto Tune

Whilst the delightful Akon (left) clearly has his own ways of enjoying his spare time, he is blissfully unaware of the impact he's had on mine. When, after a hard day's work down the mines, I come home to listen to The Corrs, The Enya or The Pan Pipe Hits III on Spotify, my ambient candlelit wanktime is without fail rudely interrupted by advertisments for Akon (above) and his new album. Every track trailed sounds exactly the same as the last one, and they are all characterized by the frankly hilarious reliance on the auto-tune technique. Akon (above) seriously needs to find a new way to express himself.

South Park has time and again exposed the straight-up crapness of the auto-tune phenomenon with ultra-sharp parodies of Cher's shit-sandwich 1998 or 1999 (I can't be bothered to Google it) hit 'Believe', and, most recently, mulleted egotist KanYe "Fred/John"* West, who surely should never be able to recover from such a merciless character assassination but, sadly, will.

This ain't no dissertation or some shit like that, so I'll openly admit that most, if not all, of the quotes and research on this blog are going to come straight from Wikipedia. Here's some stuff from that website about old KanYe "I'm not a faggot" West.

'West has been quoted as saying that he "loves using Auto-Tune" and is dismayed that the term has been commonly associated with being "wack". He considers the technology "the funnest thing to use" and compared the situation to when he was a child and thought the color pink was cool until someone told him "it was gay"'

West, and Akon, as well as repeat offender T-Pain should take note of the above dissenters, and me. Leave off the auto-tune guys. It sounds crap, and it always will.

*delete hilarious false middle name where appropriate, depending on your preference for either child murderer or wholesale tuna manufacturer wordplay.